It feels as though I am visiting a place I remember fondly, but have not been to in a long time. When I started Snail Running Club, I was at a high point in my life. There were so many positive changes going on, that I felt I could conquer the(my) world. And I was conquering it.
Then things happened. My father passed away, the man I was in love with broke up with me not long after, and I felt lost. I put my trust and faith in people that turned out to not be who they said they were and it seemed like most things were crashing down around me. Then 2020 arrived in its full viral train wreck.
Rather than use my new found coping mechanisms of exercise and taking care of myself, I went for the old stand-by methods of food, withdrawing, and too much wine. Needless to say, I have not been running and the pounds came back on. Processing big emotional losses and then the “new normal” of masks, shut downs, social distancing, and an unknown virus affected us all in ways we could not have predicted.
So here we are now and I am once again looking in the mirror and not liking what I see – though I will admit internally I have made some wonderful strides forward. I took much of 2020 in my mostly isolated world to recalibrate in a way. Reminding myself I am ok with my own company and having tough internal conversations can be constructive – though not always easy – and trying to avoid that alone time and those internal conversations will never lead to positive change.
Things are not always going to be rosy and wonderful – that is life, unfortunately – but what we can all keep working on is how we cope with those low points.
We also need to remember that nothing is permanent or final – we can always change. As humans we are capable of making decisions that enhance rather than detract from our well being. Is it easy? No. It takes a lot of work, patience, and self awareness. Rather than berating ourselves for taking a few steps back, we need to encourage ourselves to keep pushing forward and taking one step at a time toward our goals.
I am taking those baby steps now.
- Move forward
- Forgive myself for being human
- Set little goals – and big ones
- Celebrate my achievements and don’t focus on perceived “failures”
I hope you are well… and my hope is that we can embark on this journey together.
Keep lifting people up. Forgive and encourage yourself. Most of all, love who you are…faults and all.
Now more importantly… how are you doing?
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